“The Power of words”
It is
often stated that,” It`s not what you say,
but what you do”, that counts. Nevertheless,
words are still the building blocks of communication.
The
combination of certain words can have a real impact. If you want to build
relationships and high performing teams, these are some of the most potent
combinations:-
THE 6 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS……
“I`m sorry I made a mistake”
There
isn`t a human being who hasn`t made a mistake, but there are plenty who would
never admit it! It is often quoted that it takes a “big man” to admit when he`s
wrong. Most just ignore it or get into the “Blame Game” syndrome and start
pointing the finger. One of the hallmarks of a truly mature human being is the
ability to accept total responsibility for their lives, their actions and their
behaviours – good or bad, right or wrong. Many people mistakenly believe that
if you are a manager or hold some prestigious title you aren`t allowed to make
mistakes! Of course you are! More importantly, if you are not, you are not
trying hard enough. People actually like to work for someone who is human like
them! Nobody likes a “Peter Perfect” neither do they want a “Calamity Jane”,
but there is a desperate need for someone, somewhere to accept full
responsibility when things go wrong. “I`m
sorry”, is a good start.
THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS………
“You did a good job”
Positive
feedback and recognition are “endorphins for the soul”. Human beings thrive on
them. In fact they can only thrive if they get enough of them, enough of the
time. Unfortunately, there are still managers who subscribe to the old paradigm
of, “Why should they be rewarded for doing a good job when that`s what they get
paid to do?” These people clearly have no idea about human nature. It is this
kind of blinkered , ignorant, one dimensional thinking that gets just the
response it deserves, i.e. “minimalist employees”, who do just enough and no
more. Positive recognition costs nothing
and yet delivers so much.
THE 4 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS…….
“What is your opinion?”
Where
there is no involvement, there is no commitment. How can we realistically
expect employees to be committed to Mission Statements or corporate goals, etc.
when the first they hear of them is when the senior management team descend
from their “Ivory Towers” clutching their tablets of stone proclaiming, “This
is where we are doing, this is where we are going. Now get to it!” These
Mission Statements and goals are not those of the employees, they are the
managers. They only become the employees when they have been involved in the
process. The first stage of involvement is, “What do you think?” In addition,
by asking people, you are giving them positive recognition, you are according
them respect. They begin to feel valued. Being
valued is one of the most profound desires of human beings.
THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS…….
“Would you please…….?”
Only
in Her Majesty`s armed forces and services can you give orders and expect to
get away with it. Ask, don`t order. How we communicate our requests determine
how they are received. People generally want to be helpful, to feel useful
(again it reinforces our primary need to be valued). If they feel as if you are
requesting their help they will be only too pleased, but if it sounds like an order, they will do it grudgingly!
THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS……
“Thank you!”
Without
question, the most common complaint I hear when running management training
courses is, “we don`t feel appreciated”, and, “a simple thank you would mean a
lot”.
So simple, so obvious, so ignored.
More often than not people don`t want lavish praise or over the top ceremonies.
A simple, sincere “thank you” is often reward enough. Even more powerful would
be a “thank you” note/card. Never be too busy to acknowledge people`s help or
contribution. These are two little words
that make a big difference.
THE 1 MOST IMPORTANT WORD……
“We”
“We”,
is a word that reflects teamwork, togetherness, unity, and should be liberally
used in conjunction with success, achievements and celebration. The best
leaders accept personal liability when things go wrong and acknowledge the team
contribution when things go well. Any long term, enduring success can only come
by working with people. As Stephen
Covey points out in his “Maturity Continuum”:-
The
three stages of maturity are 1. Dependence
(as children we depend upon everyone else for all our needs), 2. Independence (when we can fend for
ourselves and feel we are self sufficient), 3. Interdependence – this is the maturity to realise that we need
others, and working together with others give us our greatest success. Remember,
people will often do more for the “team” than they will ever do for themselves.
Harness the power of “we”, and there
will be very little you cannot achieve.
What difference it could make in our families, businesses and relationships if we all committed to using these words on a more regular basis. What do you think?
Here`s something else to consider about the power of words:-
