The most important words in the English language

                                      “The Power of words”

It is often stated that,” It`s not what you say, but what you do”, that counts. Nevertheless, words are still the building blocks of communication.

The combination of certain words can have a real impact. If you want to build relationships and high performing teams, these are some of the most potent combinations:-

THE 6 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS…… 

“I`m sorry I made a mistake” 

There isn`t a human being who hasn`t made a mistake, but there are plenty who would never admit it! It is often quoted that it takes a “big man” to admit when he`s wrong. Most just ignore it or get into the “Blame Game” syndrome and start pointing the finger. One of the hallmarks of a truly mature human being is the ability to accept total responsibility for their lives, their actions and their behaviours – good or bad, right or wrong. Many people mistakenly believe that if you are a manager or hold some prestigious title you aren`t allowed to make mistakes! Of course you are! More importantly, if you are not, you are not trying hard enough. People actually like to work for someone who is human like them! Nobody likes a “Peter Perfect” neither do they want a “Calamity Jane”, but there is a desperate need for someone, somewhere to accept full responsibility when things go wrong. “I`m sorry”, is a good start.

THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS……… 

“You did a good job” 

Positive feedback and recognition are “endorphins for the soul”. Human beings thrive on them. In fact they can only thrive if they get enough of them, enough of the time. Unfortunately, there are still managers who subscribe to the old paradigm of, “Why should they be rewarded for doing a good job when that`s what they get paid to do?” These people clearly have no idea about human nature. It is this kind of blinkered , ignorant, one dimensional thinking that gets just the response it deserves, i.e. “minimalist employees”, who do just enough and no more. Positive recognition costs nothing and yet delivers so much.

THE 4 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS……. 

“What is your opinion?” 

Where there is no involvement, there is no commitment. How can we realistically expect employees to be committed to Mission Statements or corporate goals, etc. when the first they hear of them is when the senior management team descend from their “Ivory Towers” clutching their tablets of stone proclaiming, “This is where we are doing, this is where we are going. Now get to it!” These Mission Statements and goals are not those of the employees, they are the managers. They only become the employees when they have been involved in the process. The first stage of involvement is, “What do you think?” In addition, by asking people, you are giving them positive recognition, you are according them respect. They begin to feel valued. Being valued is one of the most profound desires of human beings.

THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS……. 

“Would you please…….?” 

Only in Her Majesty`s armed forces and services can you give orders and expect to get away with it. Ask, don`t order. How we communicate our requests determine how they are received. People generally want to be helpful, to feel useful (again it reinforces our primary need to be valued). If they feel as if you are requesting their help they will be only too pleased, but if it sounds like an order, they will do it grudgingly!

THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS…… 

“Thank you!” 

Without question, the most common complaint I hear when running management training courses is, “we don`t feel appreciated”, and, “a simple thank you would mean a lot”.

So simple, so obvious, so ignored. More often than not people don`t want lavish praise or over the top ceremonies. A simple, sincere “thank you” is often reward enough. Even more powerful would be a “thank you” note/card. Never be too busy to acknowledge people`s help or contribution. These are two little words that make a big difference.

THE 1 MOST IMPORTANT WORD…… 

“We” 

“We”, is a word that reflects teamwork, togetherness, unity, and should be liberally used in conjunction with success, achievements and celebration. The best leaders accept personal liability when things go wrong and acknowledge the team contribution when things go well. Any long term, enduring success can only come by working with people. As Stephen Covey points out in his “Maturity Continuum”:-

The three stages of maturity are 1. Dependence (as children we depend upon everyone else for all our needs), 2. Independence (when we can fend for ourselves and feel we are self sufficient), 3. Interdependence – this is the maturity to realise that we need others, and working together with others give us our greatest success. Remember, people will often do more for the “team” than they will ever do for themselves. Harness the power of “we”, and there will be very little you cannot achieve.  

What difference it could make in our families, businesses and relationships if we all committed to using these words on a more regular basis. What do you think?

Here`s something else to consider about the power of words:-